Freud once stated that only unsatisfied people have sexual fantasies.
Well, the bearded shrink was wrong; studies of human sexual behavior have proven exactly the opposite. Sexual fantasies have been shown to be associated with high
libido as defined by high
sex drive and
orgasm frequency.
This was especially true for women: those who had more sexual fantasies also had higher sexual desire and sexual satisfaction. Pleasure fuels a desire for more pleasure. And while there exists a common false belief that men daydream about sex every seven seconds or so during their waking hours, women also frequently fantasize, especially after they have become aroused. Indeed, women who have sexual fantasies during arousal are much more likely to experience orgasms than women who do not.
So don't feel guilty if you find yourself fantasizing about
Angelina Jolie while making love to your girlfriend or wife. While you are humping away at your imaginary Angelina, she is probably dreaming about being ravished by
Brad Pitt on some deserted island in a modern-day remake of
From Here to Eternity.
In fact, research has shown that women are just as likely as men to have sexual fantasies during intercourse; and just like men, women often fantasize about having sex with other partners.
what does that say about her?
Just because she is fantasizing about someone else does not mean she is unhappy with her man. For reasons similar to those that cause men to imagine themselves with other partners, the "spice" of the fantasy simply adds to her arousal and provides that extra "oomph" to bring her over the top.
While she might be plenty happy with her man's performance, dreaming that it is Brad Pitt who is giving her that pleasure just enhances its orgasmic potency.
what do women fantasize about?
One person at a time
Nevertheless, female fantasies are different from male ones in several major ways. Men tend to fantasize about a greater number of sexual partners, and many men like to "swap" their imagined partners, while women tend to "stay" with one specific person during their fantasy.
Vivid fantasies, free of precise details
Men tend to focus on activities and body organs during their fantasies, which led researchers to describe male fantasies as consisting of "sex acts and parts." Even though women's fantasies are just as vivid, they are frequently unable to provide the same descriptive details about the objects of their fantasy.
Women's fantasies are also less explicit -- women are far less likely than men to visualize their imagined lover's genitals than men are. Instead, women appear to be more involved with their own emotional responses than with the characteristics of their imaginary partners. Their fantasies frequently include descriptions of their imagined selves, such as: "I look so sexy wearing my favorite blue
lingerie that he can't take his eyes off me." Women are also more likely to describe feelings that their fantasies evoke: "I felt happy and free."
Find out where women fantasize about having sex, whether they prefer to dominate or be dominated, if they imagine being with other women, and more...
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Readers Comments: 3 Posts
I can't help wondering if the author of this article has embraced her own sexuality. Of course women fantasize during sex. We aren't robots! And the man who thinks his woman isn't fantasizing while he's making love to her is deluding himself.
About multiple partners, while yes, some women do fantasize about being with women, there is a high number of women who fantasize about being with two men. So please, men, DO ask your woman to have a threesome - and let HER pick the third partner. I'm sure you'll enjoy sharing her with your best friend, John. And bring handcuffs - because capture fantasies are yum.
Ms. Zdrock obviously hasn't noticed the explosive growth in women's erotica since the 90s. I highly suggest she go to Black Lace Books or Ellora's Cave and properly educate herself
Actually, Chaz, I think the idea is that while men are more interested in their partners' bodies and what they can do to them, women are more focused on their partners' desire and pleasure. This is why women are so much less likely to visit prostitutes--we just can't enjoy it if we think our partners aren't really into it.
Of course, men are also excited by their partners' lust and enjoyment, but it's not usually essential; similarly, the particulars of the partners' bodies are exiting but less essential to most women.
So apparently, like I thought and have read, a woman's sexuality is definitely more self-oriented than men's. And yet men are labeled to be selfish sexually, which is true for some men, but most I know care about how much they please their women and their desires are placed on women's bodies, so definitely more towards the woman that it seems women are towards men;d bodies. But as you can see women's desires are more about themselves or such turn on's about themselves than men themselves, unless it pleases her man, but that enjoyment she gets is because the man she likes is being pleasued and not the love of the male form in itself. How can men be more selfish when our sexuality is programmed towards women in the first place whereas, women's are more self related that mirrors back to men?
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